Allods Online Open Beta – Not Touching it

“Wait what? Did she just say that she’s not going to play Allods?!?! But everyone’s playing Allods! Allods is the coolest! Everyone wants to play Allods! And didn’t you um, test it in the closed beta and stuff?”

Yes, I’m sure Allods Online is the best Free to Play since Runes of Magic, but I’m just not interested. I’m not going to bash it, I’m just not going to play it. While sure it has some ginchy adds that make it different, in reality it’s just the same MMORPG schtick, but this time it’s in a boat!

So instead of going into why I don’t care to play, since most MMORPG fans don’t get my perspective anyway, here’s a nice snarky post. Enjoy.

Things I expect folks are seeing (and from what I’ve read are seeing) in the Allods Online open beta:

a) QQ’ing – “this game sucks”, “this class sucks”, “wow graphics are better”, blah blah blah, save the drama for yer mama crybabies. If you dislike the game enough to feel the need to actually register a complaint, LEAVE. I did and I feel much better for having done so.

b) Bragging – “this class is better than that class”, “my class is the best”, “I’m the best player in my class”, again with the blahs. If you’re using MMO’s to make you feel better about yourself as a person, you seriously need a reality check, or possibly some therapy. Speak with your physician, they might care.

c) Arguing – “that noob is kill stealing”, “wtf do you mean wow is better”, “you suck”, and more blahs into infinity. Likely the game will be full of bored people competing for quest items AND others just competing for the attention of such a massive audience. Ah the Internet Dickhead theory in all it’s glory. With that winning combination you end up with thesis long debates over “yo momma” and or the state of the game. Not necessarily in that order.

Funny bit is that there’s already enough problems with any new game when you think of bugs, localization, players getting used to the interface, players adjusting to the game’s combat styles, really the list is endless. Now dump on your run of the mill hyper annoying MMO types that think MMO’s are really just an extension of  some “ID10T’s Anonymous” forum and poof, recipe for mayhem.

Sadly I’m actually beginning to enjoy games that are either undiscovered by the drooling masses or are considered “unpopular” by the same. Why? Because they’re devoid of stupid, or at least only include stupid in smaller quantities which can be amusing.

Stupid can be like perfume, a little accentuates, too much is overwhelming.

Ah and now I want to coin a whole new term and or disorder: “Attention Addicts”. We all know someone like this. Usually they dress in black, dye their hair black and listen to the Cure while smoking cloves. That’s back in the good old days. These days you just gotta get a computer and/or an X-Box and sign up for a Blogger account.

You see a high percentage (not all) but a high percentage of folks running like wild to any new game they see are probably not even there to actually PLAY the game. Chances are they’re really there to be seen playing the game or better yet to let other folks know they’re playing this game.

It’s like Los Angeles online style. You go to be seen in a place where everyone else has also gone… to be seen.

I’d probably have a lot more hits per day if I went along with that mindset. Ok that and posted pictures of myself in my posts instead of in game screen shots, but that’s not happening either.

Why? For me, games are supposed to be a playground. Games are supposed to be something you enjoy in your free time. They’re supposed to be a place where you can adventure, you know, go out and do stuff you can’t do in real life. I mean how often do you get to ride a horse, chop up a monster with a huge axe, give a /rude to the instance boss… oh wait that last one’s probably all me.

Point is, that the impression I get from a lot of folks is that they don’t play the games because they’re fun, they play the games because it’s a geek’s version of a country club. You go in to bs, you dink around a bit, hit on the waitresses, compare golf scores, compare trophy wives, compare the latest luxury automobile, blah blah blah.


It’s like sitting at a table full of sports nerds and listening to them spout out some random athlete’s latest statistics. Ask that same guy what color his girlfriend’s eyes are and you’ve finally got some action at the table, (insert mischievous laugh here).

Am I “hating” on Allods? If you wanna read it that way, more power to ya. After checking it out in beta I figured it wasn’t a game I was interested in really. There’s more than enough games out there that are just like it. I got pretty bored with those games so I really don’t think that this one’s going to hold my attention for more than 2.5 seconds.

I did seem like a solid game and for folks that are all about elves and magic it has a lot to offer. The price point isn’t bad either considering the fact that it’s a Free to Play game. Graphically it’s a very pretty game with some stunning attributes here and there. If you wanna play it, I say go for it, worse thing that happens is that you like it and have to deal with the petulant masses. If you are playing it and you like it, rock on with your bad self.

Really I just find it amusing that all kinds of sites are hopping with Allods buzz but whining because everyone else is jumping on the band wagon. Really we all know that in 3 to 6 months (if not sooner) they’re all going to get bored with it, they’re going to be cranky about some flaw in the game, or they’re just going to find a new shiny. So just wait it out, good things will come.


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12 years ago

Good stuff! Thats how I felt about Aion. Thankfully I trusted my gut instinct and didn’t go forward with the purchase. I was able to pick up FE and GA, 🙂

I’m playing Allods because its free and better than DDO, being burnt out on Wow (might try it when Cato releases) and playing Allods may seem like a double standard, but hey, it’s free and the world is different; despite the similar graphics.

Aight, well great thoughts on the state of the MMO bandwagons and the lulz of Allod Wow drones.

12 years ago

1. But I am the best.
2. I like sports a lot – I’m sacrificing my raid times for a week to follow the Canadian Men’s Hockey team in the Olympics. For the record: my girlfriend’s eyes are green and my wife’s eyes are brown.
3. What is Allods?

12 years ago

Sounds like someone has a case of the MMO FU’s.

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